Update 9: Smash Attack

Yes, Ashley?
I heard a noise coming from the kitchen, and why is that pot shaking?
Oh, it's nothing to fear! I'm simply experimenting with the buds of Fanged Vines.
You-- You can make something with those-- Wait, no, I have a more pressing question: they're still alive?
Oh, yes, these buds will thrash about until you stab them from the top, hence why I'm wearing my exploration gear right now.
That's-- That's very disturbing.
I'd be hard-pressed to disagree.
...I find myself suddenly gaining a newfound respect for disciples of Apicius.
This is a reminder that Apicius intended for anyone seeking his recipes to rob his own damn grave. But, uh, that's neither here nor there. What time is it?
Boss time!
am i allowed to question why apicius' recipes are scattered throughout the high lagaard labyrinth in random treasure boxes

Here's the builds. Everyone's gear is as optimized as I could make it.

Ashley has Afterimage maxed out over Physical Shield, because Physical Shield's rank 10 TP cost would be unsustainable.

Kyoko has Clear Stance past the level 4 breakpoint, and has Arm Strike at the level 4 breakpoint.

Syrel has Double Punch maxed out. It gives her bigger boosts to her skills than any amount of SP could give the individual skills, weirdly enough.

Edelvale has Attack Order and Shock Arms at their first breakpoints. He'll be making good use of both of them.

Yukiko and Maru have Miasma Armor maxed out for big speed, and Eroding Miasma at an okay level.
This party is comprised entirely of party members who do both offense and defense at the same time. It also only has preventive measures and barely any reactionary ones, so this'll be interesting.

We're comin' for you, bear boss!
Just as soon as we get around the other bears...
It's easier done than said, but the game does a really good job of making it look complex and scary.
if you color the map with their lines of vision, it becomes even easier

Snakey snakey.
Snake through the wood gaps like this, and you can get to Berserker King no problem. No way to get a preemptive on it like EO4, sadly.
If I must forsake myself to keep mine oath, then so be it!

...i'm not sorry

We challenge you, Berserker King!

Well. That was serendipitous.
We managed a reasonable harmony, I feel!

Ashley will spam Physical Shield for the entire battle.

Kyoko will fish for arm binds.

Syrel fishes for blind.

Edelvale buffs up the front. I don't have him turn on Victory Vow yet, so his Force window lines up with the front line's burst windows.

Yukiko and Maru debuff the bear.

Anti-ursine measures, engage!

Bah, so hard to reach that stupid head.

Ashley? Ashley!

What would you say in this situation, Yuki?
Eat jar, bear!
Eat jar, bear!

I share your frustrations, Syrel.

Force Boosts!

Well, Yukiko and Maru don't really use theirs, they heal Edelvale to get Royal Veil active.
I can't wait for Atonement.

Get that veil going!
don't play dumb, edel, you know the one. you know royal veil was literally the inspiration for you

I mentioned that Kyoko does a lot of damage, right?



Ahh, that's the stuff.
I'm...still very unaware of what's going on.
I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess that royals exude some sort of holy healing energy.
...That's news to me, but I won't fight against it.
edelvale's edelveil
i'm so sad i didn't think of this

Spend some time nursing that eye, see where it gets you.


...No ambient visual effects?
Huh? Oh, you were expecting my afterimages to look like Shadow. Sorry to disappoint.

Ashley turns on her Force Boost.

Kyoko busts out Issen.

Syrel turns on Bind Rush.

Edel amps up Attack Order...

And Yukiko and Maru weaken Berserker King a lot.
Team! Engaging Unlimited Form!

Eat a bunch of jars!
Hee-hee, we're getting better at this "same page" thing.

This regal bear shall regret engaging us.


Heh, now that's a rush.

Coordinated assault.

Hee-hee, that tickles.

This party's got pretty decent damage.

A quick incantation, and I should be ready to go.

We appear to have enraged it.

Ashley uses Miracle Edge, because why not.

Syrel busts out Final Blow for similar reasons.

Edel also makes use of his Owl Staff.

How do you...suplex a creature that big?
Very recklessly.
everyone please follow my brand new tumblog, syrel-doing-lagaardian-suplexes.tumblr.com for more good good reckless content

i wish i could make that a thing oh wait
is syrel capable of suplexing a train? i sure hope so.


Please calm down.


It's in the bag.


I must admit, that was quite satisfying.
Told you being the one that attacks is fun.

You've successfully eliminated the threat in the Lush Woodlands. Mission complete!

Aw, no, come on, please, let us go home.
A sound of something heavy landing on the ground behind us plays.

Suddenly, a glare even more daunting than that of the Berserker King meets your eyes!

Once more, for good measure: I fucking love this part of the game.
Everything about the Lush Woodlands totally drew me in way more than I expected.
he go nyoom. no, seriously, where the heck did he come from

You determine it's just as strong as, if not stronger than, the monster you just faced, and you're in no condition to fight further. However, it doesn't appear you have the option to flee either. With your backs to the wall, you boldly stand to face the beast...
I-- We will not be bested. En garde!
When suddenly, a voice rings out from behind!

Wh-- Ackpth!
Wiglaf appears from behind and splashes you with cold water.

It's healing water I brought from Tharsis. Now that your wounds are healed, I'm sure you can win!
Ah, I feel truly reinvigorated. I am ready to-- Oh, I find myself at a loss of words...
Kick some ass again?
Not how I would put it, but the sentiment is the same.
With Wiglaf's encouraging words, you turn and face the monster rushing toward you!
from tharsis, my ass, those were clearly eo1 hamaos she was handing out
Tharsis has what? First I've heard of it

We're given the option to save before engaging Cernunnos, mercifully.
The game warns you to save in a different slot, because you might not be able to beat Cernunnos and in that case if this was your only save you have to start over. It's awfully nice of them to do that, honestly. I almost needed it, 'cause it took me six or seven tries to beat this punk...
bring medica. a lot

You shall regret this!
Can monsters actually regret things?
We can pontificate on that later!
That's for the best.

Reasonably standard prep from everyone.

Edel defends so he's less likely to get his head bound.

I don't fish for binds yet because I want the Usurper's Arm for bragging rights.

Oh, uh, I don't remember why I had Kyoko use Claw Sever. That was dumb.

Hold still, you muscled jerk...!

Howsabout we soften up those muscles?

Perfect, I don't care about head binds on either Ashley or Kyoko.


Yay for more physical reduction.

Ashley shifts to the back to let her afterimage get maximum damage from Brave Heart.

Love that damage.

Okay, sure.

That "bonk" sound was quite loud.

Hey, no, how about you don't do that?

Pah! Chaining up a voice such as this is criminal. I will make you regret it.

Coincidentally, Brave Heart is about to run out, so I have Ashley wipe out the Healing Rollers.

boy it must be nice to have force breaks that can wipe the rollers instantly

what no i'm not sore about having no ranged damage and needing to move my harbinger to the front row to use arm grab to hit both the rollers at once because that was my only source of multi-target damage

why would you assume that
all i had for aoe at the time was gae bolg so i feel you
i just had my harbinger spam whatever the poison reap is on them
what do you mean i should know the english names by now? pah

Agh... I'm...seizing up...
Wow, that...kinda sucked, especially in comparison to how deadly it was in EOU.

Clever, King of the Jungle.
Too bad we're not idiots.

Preparing for Volt Strike.

...Oh, curses, wrong Theriaca.
In your defense, it's really annoying that Theriaca Bs are for Ailments and that As are for Binds. It's... It's just wrong. I know it has to do with localization in a weird and roundabout way, but it's--it's wrong!!
I just spend ten minutes deciding if I'm using the right item every time, easy peasy :v
ainds and bilments


This should fix the damage to your nervous system... There.

It'll take more than that to bring me down!
Nothing better than a sturdy leader.

The second Healing Roller summon's going to happen soon, so I have Kyoko use Musou now.

Finally. How many times do I have to tell a monster to hold still before it holds still?
...Quite a lot? It can't understand you, I imagine.
We're listening.
I wasn't expecting you to be the one to say that.

Kyoko, if you will.
Permit me a second.

That is...quite a bit of damage.

Okay, let's kill the Rollers.

Ah, how beautiful.
That's one way to look at it, I suppose.

Nyeh-heh, you suck!

...Yuki. Maru. Can you two do me a favor?
Toss every jar you can at the big guy. I've got an idea.

If you say so!

Hey, big boy, ready for a ride? HRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--
...That's quite the jump to make for a suplex.
Pugilists truly are an amazing bunch.


Ah, that felt good.

You know, I've been meaning to talk to you about that defensive pose. It's terrible. It covers nothing. In fact, it's so bad that I can dismantle it...

With a single finger!

Well done, Syrel! I cannot say I have ever seen someone suplex a monster three times their size, let alone that high into the air, but you managed to do it anyway!
It was the stuff of legend, honestly.
At the very least, it's worthy of commendation.
That was so cool!
...Oh dear, Yuki, I think you're rubbing off on me.
What, I'm only doing that just now?
And the bragging rights reward is mine.
For some reason, the conditional doesn't seem to drop if you finish Cernunnos off with Final Blow. Maybe I just got unlucky, but then I don't think there's any way a level 90 Pugilist using maxed Meditation and then Final Blow would ever fail to land any of those binds on Cernunnos. I mean, I remembered I had Clinch, so I still got it, but it was bizarre. But then anecdotal evidence yadda yadda...
my main party uses a pugilist and i haven't gone back and gotten this yet

i'm slacking

You scan the area as Cernunnos comes crashing down. Thankfully, there doesn't appear to be any reinforcements on the way... Well done! The Lush Woodlands are sure to be a bit quieter from here on out!
What an exhausting gauntlet...

Wiglaf smiles at your victory.
A lot of people have been worried about you!
Such as everyone in our guild, I imagine.
I imagine Cason is worrying himself sick...
Over me or you?
Both, probably.

I am beat.
Everyone here deserves a rest, I think that's fairly obvious.

How these stairs lead back to Maginia is a mystery I will sadly never understand.

Thank you, Aeon Guild!
Thank you for avenging our fallen comrades!
A group of soldiers encircles you, and each casts their blessing. You thank them for their kind words before Mueller turns and addresses you once again.
Well then, Aeon Guild... Be sure to deliver the news of your success to HQ as well.
It would seem news of our success has already reached everywhere, but very well.

...I see. So you slayed the monster that appeared after you faced the Berserker King as well, hm?
You bet we did.
Well done, Aeon Guild. You've done what many an adventurer should strive to accomplish. Adventurers and soldiers alike have been praising your exploits, and some are even waiting to see you this very moment. I'm sure the feeling is mutual, so by all means, come forth! Show them you've made a safe return.

We've...only been apart for a few minutes.
You did it, Aeon Guild! I'll have to treat you to that steak I promised!
Oh, hell yeah. Get Lilian to help you with that.
...Oliver, shouldn't you be thanking them first? Anyway, Aeon Guild, thank you for saving us earlier.
I couldn't have lived with myself if I let such an inspiring couple die.
You put it better than I ever could, Edel.
It seems that everyone is in good spirits following the adventure through the Lush Woodlands.
That soldier is also doing well. He asked that we say thank you on his behalf.
All right, Aeon Guild, how do you want yours cooked? Rare? Medium? Well-done? Just say the word!
Mmmmmmmmedium, I guess.
Medium-rare for me, please.
Gimme that thing well-done.
I'll request medium-rare as well.
I love it when we do that.
Yeesh, Oliver... Just hearing that's making me hungry. Mind if I join you?
And so, the three of them join you in celebration...

Aeon Guild. Truthfully, I wasn't sure I could depend on you when we first met. I'm surprised at how much you've grown since then. Many were lost to that forest, and you avenged them all. Magnificent work. This is to reward you for all you've done. Please accept it.

Your reward is appreciated, Princess Persephone.

When we leave, this happens.
Once you've had some rest, there's a new labyrinth I'd like you to explore... I know I can count on you.
Ah, good, we're in the princess's good graces.
I can confirm that a royal's favor is quite desirable.
to you, yeah. to me, persephone thinks throwing my research guild into a dangerous dungeon and paying them less than the expedition cost is okay

Careful with that arm, Napier, I don't wanna have to suplex like that again for a while.
Polydeuces (+185 ATK, +175 MAT, Skill: Hurricane Punch): Made from 1 Usurper's Arm (Cernunnos Conditional Drop). Costs 540000 en.
Hurricane Punch: Costs 25 TP. Deals 300% melee STR-based bash damage to all enemies. Attempts to inflict paralysis on hit targets, with a 25% base chance. Has a 40% speed modifier and a base accuracy of 95%.

Much like Emperor Strike (I so badly wanted to call it King Press, I'm still so used to the JP names) in EO5, Hurricane Punch gives Pugilists some sorely-needed multi-target coverage. Too bad we won't get it until endgame...
Horn Spear (+35 ATK, +44 MAT, Skill: Flame Rush): Made from 1 Sharp Horn (Cernunnos Drop 1). Costs 870 en.
Flame Rush: Costs 5 TP. Deals 160% ranged INT-based fire damage that pierces enemy rows. Has a 100% speed modifier and a base accuracy of 108%.

Ugh, Flame Rush being based off INT sucks. At least the Horn Spear's MAT slightly offsets the sucky part, but still.

Some day, sweet Polydeuces, you will be mine.

Aw, but cats can't eat chocolate. All-day naps forever, or chocolate... That's tough. What do you think, Aeon Guild?
I quite enjoy being capable of higher thought, so I would have to pass up being a cat.
on the other hand, people pet you all day and always feed you and say nice things about you

that sounds pretty good
(fat cat voice) m a o

It seems you've reached a new labyrinth.
Not quite yet.
I trust the adventuring is going well for you? I hear that the labyrinths in this land have completely different scenery from one another. By the time you're accustomed to one forest, a completely different danger presents itself. In other words, you can't grow complacent.
But, should you have reliable gear like we offer here at Napier's Firm, you have nothing to fear. Having said all that, you should buy something now. Don't hoard your coin.
Yeah, yeah, we know.
Napier's being greedy, of course, but the game's also giving you a legitimate warning. The threats in the first two labyrinths were mostly enemies that hit very hard, but right away in the next stratum we're gonna be staring down a lot of status effect-based threats. Previous tactics may not work there. "Don't get complacent" is a good policy in Etrian Odyssey.

I can't say the same for you.
Care for a drink? Some requests, maybe?
You're being conspicuously professional today.
...What's that? I'm actually doing my job today? Hey, I get serious about my job sometimes! ...Like when I'm sleeping. Dahaha!
Just the other day, I got out of bed, got dressed, cleaned the place up, and just as I was getting ready to open for business...
I woke up. See? I'm serious about my job when I'm asleep, just like I said.

Mueller has nothing new to say.
You sign up a good crew?

However, it seems our soldiers have met some difficulty in the next labyrinth. Supposedly, it's a dense jungle, overflowing with plant life... Don't let your guard down.
The picture you paint is not all that dissimilar to the Lush Woodlands...

As you leave the city, you're greeted by another group of adventurers about to embark on an expedition of their own.

Hello, Plutia's guild, featuring Dracula?.
Supposedly a gathering point has been discovered just beyond its exist. Before leaving, Dracula? tells you it's very useful and if you haven't gone yet, you should take a look.
Certainly worth a quick look.
You can do as they suggest or continue on to the next forest.

Here's a minor convenience: world map gather point. These things let you get random gather materials and monster drops from a given Labyrinth.
Thanks, Dracula?! The overworld gathering points let you passively gain stuff that makes reusable items, like status gasses. I believe the Lush Woodlands' point can yield Big Shells from the Big Rollers, which make Stun Gas.

Still really smelly...
Oh, yup, there you go.
I'm incapable of harvesting Culantro here too

Not having Nectars and refusing to use a Medic early on is fun

Things should be good around here for now. I think I'll head back in and help any adventurers I find...
She gives you a friendly smile and scratches her head.
That forest has claimed enough lives as it is...
Suddenly, a voice energetically calls out from behind Wiglaf.

Oliver proudly presents you with a plate piled high with meat.
Hell yeah, serve it up.
Yeah! Eat 'til you explode!
A well-cooked steak is brought over from the fire and placed in front of you!

You can come eat here whenever you want!
I'll bring some spices to experiment next time.
I imagine Lilian will have a field day with this.

That's our plan, yes.
I've heard that this labyrinth looks exactly like the Primitive Jungle in the far eastern city of Etria. Every Etrian adventurer's been out trying to get their hands on a Theriaca ß. Here, take some.

We've already got plenty, but thank you.
You thank her and take the potions. She then bids you a fond farewell. After parting ways, you turn your attention to the next labyrinth.

We'd do well to do a quick scouting of the new Labyrinth.

Bleh, it's kinda muggy...

As far as one can tell, this place is an animal's paradise, completely untouched by human hands. You can't even begin to imagine what kinds of monsters you'll face within these woods. You proceed with caution as you take your first steps into the labyrinth.
Welcome to the 2nd Stratum from EO1/EOU, Primitive Jungle, aka the most boring stratum in that game.

It isn't much better in EON, sadly.
It's a lot more tolerable. For three reasons. One being that labyrinths in Nexus tend to be a lot shorter, as you've already seen. The other two, we'll see later.
It's boring and it's humid, which are two cardinal sins.
at least the layouts are different

None of the town NPCs have anything new to say, but we do have new patrons.

Medic with Shaky Legs:
Ahh, that was so scary... That monster was strutting around the labyrinth like it owned the place. We started a fight with it, then suddenly, my vision went all wobbly... The next thing I saw was the monster stomping us! Well, at least it only moves back and forth, so it's easy to tell where it's going... But I'd better make sure my guild leader doesn't charge in recklessly next time.
Extravagant Collector:
Well, who do we have here? Are you fortune-seeking adventurers?
Adventurers, yes. Fortune-seeking, kinda.
I'm Colec. I've come to Maginia to gather more rare items in the world than anyone ever has! I look forward to seeing what extraordinary items I will find here.

Alright, I guess we'll talk again.

Colec the Collector:
Have you come across a Giant Moa during any of your adventures? Well, if you beat one using a specific strategy, you'll get an extra-valuable Stunned Quill. That flightless bird's got some of the rarest feathers on the market... At some point, they very well may end up evolving their feathers away entirely!
Um, how do you get a Stunned Quill?
Oh, the strategy? Well, it's called a Stunned Quill... I believe that means the monster's defeated while it's paralyzed.
doubt it, because knowing humanity, they'd breed em to continue producing em

There's some new quests, too.

Architectural Assistance:
Hey, working hard again today? You sure are full of energy! What I wouldn't give to be young like you!
If I were just two years younger... What's that? Two years wouldn't make a difference? Dahaha!
Get to the point, please.
Oh, stop being silly! I've got to give you the details of this request!
Right then, let me tell you their grand tale...
There once lived an architect, who was simply awed by the quality of the wood out in the vast forest...
As much as I love grand tales, please get on with it.
Ugh, it's a long story, so I'll get right to it: That architect wants 3 pieces of Light Hardwood, which you can find in the Primitive Jungle! There you have it! Get out there and get to chopping!
Sleepless in Maginia:
Yes, yes, a request, right? You sure do work hard. Or are you just finding your pockets a bit too empty?
This quest doesn't even have a money reward.
So this request is from the local apothecary. Apparently he's been so sick with worry that he can't sleep at night. Well, if he was that worried about coming here, maybe he should have thought twice about climbing aboard, or lowered his expectations!
Me, I wouldn't be bothered by things outside my expectations, 'cause I didn't have any in the first place! Dahaha!
That's the most valid thing you've said since we met you.
In any case, the apothecary wants medicine to help him sleep. To make it, he wants you to go to the Primitive Jungle and bring back 2 globs of Sticky Goo dropped by Sleeper Oozes. No need to hurry; he doesn't seem in particularly bad shape. Just grab some while you're exploring. I'm counting on you!
And that's it for-- Wait, no it isn't.

Uuuuuuughhhhh, I'm getting restless.
Big same.
Well, what the hell do you want me to do about it? I can't exactly travel us back in time to when the big monsters were still--

--alive. What the fuck?
Oh hello there.
Okay, this is bad-- Wait, why's our spear here?!
I've got my sword too!
Grk... The lens was here too, somehow, what the hell.
Well, uh...

Time to fight, I guess!

I held voting for a second party in the EO LP Discord server, as I will for every boss that's voted on, because we have so many characters and I want to give some of them fair shakes at boss fights.

However, because this update is already full of images, I will only be posting videos of these second fights, because boss fights are already image-intensive as-is.

Note that the next update will always continue from the save made at the end of the first fight.

Gah, hah, gods, what the fuck, what put us here?!
I'unno, but yesssssssss that was so awesome!
Admirable effort, Adan. Good job.
H-Huh? Oh, thanks, I...think.

Aaaaaaaand we're back home I guess.
Oh, good, that means I can go sleep right now.
Just outta curiosity, Heath and Friedrich, you two...didn't do that, right? 'Cause you two are pretty weird.
Hrm. Gonna need to consult with sis on this one.
Alright, now we're done. Next time: jungle.
This update brought to you by the wonderful patrons of the LPs on Patreon:

Brrr... What's the temperature, M-C?
Oh, fantastic, and I've got no warm clothing. I can't very well go out in this weather, now can I?
...Some old horses can always hear their owners approaching, I suppose.
Hello Nadym--
Gweeek! Ashley, please do not approach like that when I'm focusing!
...Sorry. That's my bad.
I forgive you... Did you need something?
Well, you seem like you're cold. I knitted sweaters, and I thought you'd like to have one.
Ah, yes, gladly.
Here you go.
Thank you...very much.

What's wrong?
You sound dissatisfied. Do you not like the color? I can let you have another, if you want. I made more.
No, I-- H-How many more?
I knitted them this afternoon.
...You were gone all day on exploration. This seems implausible.
I'm good at sweaters.
I didn't know you knitted, though.
Yeah. Just sweaters, though. I can't pull off anything else. I tried knitting a scarf once, I just made a bizarre neck-sweater.
So yes, if you're not happy with it I can let you have another one. Or knit you one from scratch. What is it you don't like about it?
If it's just the color, I definitely have something more to your liking in here. If not, I can make you something else. Something tigher, or more form-concealing, for example.
Gods, she's passionate... If... If it's not much of a bother... Could you make me something in a...lighter color? Everything in this bag is so... Solid. Oh, er, c-could you also give it a turtleneck?
Of course. I'll get on it once I'm done handing sweaters out.
Thank you very much.

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