Update 22: Placeholder

May I pose a question to you, Ladette?
Pose one t' me? No. Ask me one? Hit me.
...Both of those mean the same thing, though.
I know what I said, bard boy.
Perfect timing, actually, since I was going to ask why you refer to me as "bard boy."
It's a convenient-and-belittling nickname. My two most favorite qualities when expressin' myself through language.
...I...suppose. Why am I the only one that receives a, ahem, convenient-and-belittling nickname?
Because you're the one that gets most wound up 'bout this kinda stuff. It's funny.
I do not get wound up about...well, anything!
Yeah? Watch me. How about I call you "Teach" instead?
Why would you do that?
'Cause a little birdie might'a told me you're interested in teachin' Doc "how to love again."
Remember all those quests I had at the end of Update 21? Let's go take care of the ones that we can reasonably do right now.

To do so, we are required to talk to the top bar patron. The bottom one just gives an unnecessary hint for the Austin one.
You're looking for a turtle shell? That's kinda strange, isn't it?
Oh, sorry. It's not polite to laugh at other people's hobbies. Pardon me.
Not a fan'a bein' laughed at, bub. Just tell me what I want.
So you want to find a turtle shell, was that it? Sure, I'll tell you. But I've got a catch. While you're at it, I want you to do something for me. Don't worry, it's right on the way. Nothing hard. If you're willing to accept my quest, I'll give you that information. What do you say?
Iiiii don't think we really have any choice here but to say "yup."
It's a deal! Thanks. I'll tell you about my job later, so let's talk about getting you that turtle shell. In case you didn't know, turtles live near water. You'll likely find them in areas full of it. So if you search around the waters in the forest, I'm sure you'll come across some turtle tracks. But turtles of the forest are cautious creatures. They probably won't come out if there's somebody nearby. Here's how to get around that.

Quite the hefty bag...
Eh, nothing I can't handlllllllle okay no I can't handle it HELP I'M GOING DOWN--
A modern tragedy.
Place this food where you think there are turtles. At least one should show up. But there's one more thing to be careful about. Even if you use this food, I don't think one will come out if you're there, too. So, once you place the food, leave that spot. Get far enough away that you can't see where you put the food. A turtle should come ashore and start eating then. Try attacking it while it's distracted. It's kind of a hassle, but that's the process of luring out a turtle. Now, my request. Since you're getting a turtle shell, get me some turtle meat. That's not out of the way or anything, right? Good luck, then. I'll be waiting here for the meat.

You recall the quest you accepted to obtain a turtle shell. If you follow the instructions you were given, you should be able to lure the turtle to you. If you remember the steps, you should be able to know what to do next.
...I've forgotten what to do-- Oh, right, we throw it in the--
...Was tackling him necessary, Vince?
I panicked, alright?! I'unno where else we'd get more turtle chow other than tellin' that rich guy that we lost it!
Ribs...grow back...right?
No. No, they don't. We'll deal with it when we get back home. In the meantime, someone please just set the food down.
You place the turtle food on the ground in front of you. Do you remember what to do next?
Time to be sneaky.
I am having to expend every ounce of my willpower to not express the terrible pain I'm feeling right now through screaming.
No-one ever said bein' sneaky was easy.

Sneaky success.

Never seen a turtle like this 'round these parts.
Perhaps it's a turtle from a foreign land.
There is a turtle here, and it is too busy gobbling up the food to notice you! It's quite a large turtle... Fighting it unprepared would be quite reckless. However, you will never complete this request unless you battle the giant turtle.
Say y' prayers, turtle.
I'm getting fired up!
...Are you joking about your gauntlets being on fire?
What are you talking oh god that's not supposed to happen.

Lure Tortoise

HP: 2560STR: 37TEC: 27VIT: 33AGI: 26LUC: 25
EXP Given: 8900

Damage Vulnerabilities:
50% 50% 50%
150% 50% 150%

Disable Vulnerabilities:
50% 100% 50% 50% 100% 50% 50%
10% 10% 50%
50% 50% 50%
  • Grinder: Deals severe bash damage that pierces party rows. Average speed.
  • Breaker Spin: Deals very heavy bash damage to one row of party members. Reduces hit targets' physical defense by 50% for 4 turns. Slightly slow.
  • Grinder: Deals 150% melee STR-based bash damage that pierces party rows. The damage ranges from 212 to 249 on average. Has no speed modifier and a base accuracy of 99%.
  • Breaker Spin: Deals 120% melee STR-based bash damage to one row of party members. The damage ranges from 170 to 199 on average. Reduces hit targets' physical defense by 50% for 4 turns. Has an 80% speed modifier and a base accuracy of 99%.
  • Lure Tortoises use Breaker Spin when any party members in the front row do not have defense debuffs.
  • Lure Tortoises are more likely to use Grinder when their HP is at 50% or lower.
  • If the Lure Tortoise's HP is at 50% or lower:
    • If any party members in the front row do not have the Breaker Spin debuff, 69% chance to use Breaker Spin.
    • Else:
      • 59% chance to use Grinder.
      • Else, Attack.
  • If the Lure Tortoise's HP is at 100% to 51%:
    • If any party members in the front row do not have the Breaker Spin debuff, 69% chance to use Breaker Spin.
    • Else:
      • 30% chance to use Grinder.
      • Else, Attack.
This thing's very capable of reducing your party to red smears quickly. I kinda wish I had access to leg binds right now...
Both of the special attacks here are pretty ruthless. Bring your strongest physical mitigation if you aren't packing heavy lockdown.

Well, that's...motivating...in its own way...

Would a cute bandage help you feel better, at least?

I cannot allow that, sorry.

Bein' near death really brings out the nihilism in y', huh.

Wow, that's almost as good as my punches and kicks!
...It was a real compliment...

It might not look like as much damage as Ladette, but do keep in mind that Katya doesn't need to spend every other team setting that up.


Cooked turtle, anyone?
Maybe if my stomach...didn't have rib bones in it...

You strip the turtle's body of the shell and delicious turtle meat, placing them in your pack.

I can see...
A light?
No... A small, blue-haired...boy...? He's...waving...
Whatever you're seeing, enjoy it for now, because you're not dying today.

Oh, yes... I asked him what he needed it for. There's a ceremony in his village. The shell is put in a bonfire, and they tell the future by the cracks that form. From what he says, it's very accurate. From small things, to events centuries in the future. There's more to this world full of mysteries than just the forest, eh?

Kayanohime Crowns can be made from the rare 4th Stratum Chop material, and provide +20 HP, as well as immunity to head binds. They're invaluable for Medics in certain fights.

Ah, but do I love a good chance to fish.
Good, 'cause I'm pretty sure no-one else here does.

In the interest of brevity: we have 8 hours to catch fish, if we leave the floor we forfeit, catch at least one fish to pass the quest.
This quest is a whole lot of fluff to make it seem more complicated than it actually is. There's not actually much to say here besides I hope you mapped out this floor well.
The soldier returns to his post near the stairway. Now start searching B14F and catch as many fish as you can!
Now, if you all will allow me some peace, I have fishing to tend to.

Here are most of the spots. Why most?

Damn you... I was merely...fishing...

don't ever let down your guard in S3. it wants blood

I was fishing. Permit me that, at least.
i cannot wait to be out of the azure rainforest

For variety's sake, let's go save Austin.
It's Austin, the detective. You remember the quest from the pub to look for Austin in the Labyrinth.
Mister Austiiiiiiiiiiiin~

Austin takes a defensive stance when you speak. Something seems wrong.
Someone was worried about ya.
You tell him that you accepted another job to search for him, and a stern look crosses his face.
My room was broken into, without any subtlety... I see.
Tenebris, when you accepted this quest, you were given something, weren't you? Show me.
You hand Austin the note. As he reads it, he grimaces.
This ink...!
...Did we screw up?
Look out, everyone!
Monsters begin crawling out of the water towards you, as if something is luring them out. You ask what is going on, and the detective yells out bitterly.
This note has been covered in a substance that attracts these monsters. I can't believe he would involve innocents...! But this isn't the time.
The monsters surround you and begin angrily pushing forward!
It pains me to involve you in this, but first we must fight our way out!
Nothing we're not accustomed to.
The note must have left its scent all over you, as the monsters are increasingly hostile to you. If you wish to survive, there is no choice but to fight!

Well, that's a pretty nasty combination. Nothing we can't take down, mind you, but that's a lot of damage between these four monsters.

I seem to have become an effective meatshield...


Aw, what?
The detective is right. More and more monsters approached during your battle! You must continue fighting. You raise your weapons once more and prepare to fight back!

Oh, okay. Cool.

Not much threat in both of these. Alchemist cooks the hell out of them.

Just a little more. Let's do it, Tenebris!
Way ahead'a ya.

Okay, this fight is very capable of causing a wipe. Ice Wall will save most of your party from one Water Splash, but it doesn't stop the other one. Burst one of them down immediately.

I had Vince use Boost so that Ice Wall would absorb damage, mostly to save Thierry a bit of time.

I'm great, you're dead, I think we're done 'ere.

That series of encounters can overwhelm you very quickly, and even just getting unlucky with any of them can prove fatal.

My room invaded, a note covered in monster bait, and you coming here... Let me ask you this: did anyone give you assistance in solving the code in this note? It's very important. Try to remember.
You think about the note... You remember that the detective himself talked about a similar code in a case he worked on! When you tell Austin this, the detective takes a small breath and falls silent.
...Sorry, I just remembered a matter I must attend to. You may go home on your own.
Wait, no, let us use your Thread--

Too. Why is that man so hasty...
His arrogant attitude is less than satisfying, but at least you were able to find him as requested. You should report to the pub the next time you are in town.

Well, I was at least able to finish...
All that's left is to return to town and check the results of the competition.

I hope you didn't make us look bad, Doc.


Hm. Excellent.
One man beating two full guilds--that's worthy of a song!
Oh, marvelous. I look forward to that song tonight.
T-Tonight? I-- Yes, o-of course--
I'm joking, Emmett.
Those are the top guild rankings in the competition! Thanks to everyone who participated! You can collect your rewards at the pub. This fishing tournament is now over!

Oh, I've got it here in my ledger.
Great, now hand us the--
...I don't remember posting this job. Oh, my. Am I losing my memory...? Well, it says what the reward is, so I'll get it for you. Hold on.
...Did I...get hit on the head? I'm pretty sure took a quest...?
Pretty sure you've gotten hit on the head a lot, but that doesn't matter here.

Disable weapon. Garbage.

Did you really get this quest from me?
I'm quite certain we did.

They were issued this quest, however... Not by you. Do you see?
Yeah, I see. What I see is that I need to go lie down for a while...

I'm pretty sure what's goin' on is the crazy shit in the Labyrinth's startin' to leak out to town.

But... Valerie is a good deal shorter and thinner than-- Oh, forget it.
So why would you disguise yourself as me and give them a quest?
Who can say? Perhaps because it looked like fun... Probably something to that extent.
Don't bullshit us. What's the real reason?
You're better off not knowing.
...But it's too late for that. I've involved you too much already. The man who tricked you is named Baroudeur. He is like the king of criminals... Whenever there was crime in my country, he was almost always behind it. My entire reason for being in Etria is because I am searching for stolen goods that he supposedly hid here. This incident was a warning to me... Telling me that I'm getting too close.
Is that so...
And, regrettably... It seems he sees Tenebris as cooperating with me in my search. It would not be easy to leave here... But he is a man with a long reach and no scruples. There is no safety from him. Until I catch him, I would like to take shelter at your base of operations. You don't mind, do you?
Ah, we probably should inform Rosa of this before--
I knew you would agree. I shall make my way to your headquarters right away.
I didn't say yes--
Oh, I already know where it is.
...It's been one of those days...

Yeah, I thought someone I knew had an ego problem...
'Scuse me?
By the way... Do you really think it's that easy to disguise yourself like anybody else?
I don't want to know about the contortions and pain one must go through to disguise like that, but yes.
Y-You think...? Don't go getting any ideas now, okay?

Your guild's sure to get some fame from this. ...But as a fishing guild, though. I'm just kidding. Anyway, I'll collect your catch and the fishing equipment. Here's your reward. Congratulations!
Thank you.

You get extra Amrita IIs based on your place in the contest. It's obviously in your best interest to spend the time getting 1st place.

And then I didn't spend the points because I was close to ending the recording. Whee.

We haven't consented to that yet.
Don't worry, I've thought of a way to compensate you. Why don't I assist you with your exploration?
Pardon me for the slight hypocrisy, but you can barely fight. How would you be able to help?
I'll tell you about my experiences, which should come in handy. For example... I can teach you how to move fearlessly through areas where monsters spray you with toxic chemicals. Just give me a call if you're interested. I will share my knowledge with you any time you want. Well, carry on.
...Well, that's of some value.
I guess.

You said it, sister...
Um, I will inform him of the duties here. If there is anything you would like me to do, don't hesitate to ask for me.

So, now we can take advantage of Austin's abilities.

Unlike Rosa, who provides us with passive HP/TP boosts/recovery, Austin provides us with start-of-battle buffs that negate various types of disables.

I didn't really value Austin's abilities much on my first time playing EOU, but on later runs I've come to view them as invaluable. Random encounter difficulty tapers off a little at the start of the 4th Stratum, but after that, it just rises further and further and never stops. Blocking the first disable inflicted on you in battle can make Labyrinth exploration much, much less stressful.

You do need to know what you're going to be going up against on any given floor, though--you can't just grab one of Austin's buffs at random and expect it to do much. Bind protection does nothing against enemies that only inflict ailments, for example.

And with that, we're done for now. Next time: a cow.

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