Update 23: Guild Tenebris vs. Cow? Cow? Did Someone...Mention a Cow?! (Gudanna)



Hey, Judith!
Mm? What is it, Katya?
Can you teach me how to take a punch?
...Why would you want to learn that?
Having to jump from the back every time I punch or kick something gets tiring, y'know?
It's good exercise for your legs, isn't it?
Yeah, but it's still boriiiiiiiiing.
I'm...not actually sure how I'd teach you that, anyway. See, where I come from, aptitude for combat is...random.
...Isn't it already?
No, it's... You can have someone train until their arms fall off, but if Lady Luck doesn't will it, all that'll happen is they feel slightly luckier.
...That sounds kinda incredible, actually.
It isn't.






Let's go take down a cow.

I know Gudanna's closer to a bull. I just like saying cow more.


Ahhhhhh. Nothing quite like a relaxing stroll through the 1st Stratum.
I must admit, the lack of monsters is a bit unsettling... But I'm not going to complain.
...Been a while since I actually got to just take in some greenery n' fresh air.
I can practically feel the pollen beneath my armor! Achoo!


Did I hear someone complaining about a lack of monsters?!
Quixote don't you fucking da--



A ferocious cow!
That's a giant bull, brain genius.
I insist that you call it a cow!
NO.
Okay.
I swear, Quixote, if you weren't so inadvertently good at what you do...


Standard openers. Gudanna always opens with Thunderstrike, so Vince uses Volt Wall.

At least Sigrid's not in danger this time...


Not. A. Scratch. Nope.
Except for your arm jittering.
Maybe don't take a giant hunk'a metal when you're absorbin' electricity.


Been a long time since I had a good steak.


BOOGITYBOO!
...


STUPID COOOOOOOOOOOW!
Bull.
I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAARE!


Oh, you wanna go, co--
Bovine?
Fine. You wanna go, bovine?!


...I'm so mad I can't even see straight!


Rrgh!


Better.

I WILL FEAST ON YOUR DISGUSTING PURPLE HORNS!
...Yeuch.
It worked, did it not?


Ladette doesn't have Action Boost active this turn, so I have Quixote use Suicide Word instead. This is the first time I've used Suicide Word, I think.

DO NOT NOT STOP HITTING YOURSELF NOT NOT!
...Huh?
Nested negatives confuse and terrify monsters.


...Gods, cow blood smells.
Bull blood.
You cannot seriously still be stuck on that.


...I've...got...cow chunks...on me...
...
...
...
...Good.
Someone... Please...
Wow that's good.

...I guess that worked.


Ladette's ready to go this turn, so Quixote switches to Muting Word.

I am taking a long bath before I get in bed tonight.
Almost 1200 damage. Nice.

Freeze, guido.
...
What?
The legendary capa, making an attempt at a joke?
...Attempt? I thought it was an actual joke.
Nnnnnnot even close.


Ahhhhhh, dammit.

This fight was...frustrating. Several earlier attempts just stopped when Gudanna's fear wore off one turn later. This is an unfortunate consequence of this party's low average LUC--Vince and Momoe are really dragging us down, even if Judith has surprisingly high LUC and Ladette's is pretty average.

Binds it is, then.

Don't worry, we're completely safe.


Except against that.


Vince...
Hey, how was I supposed...to know...
I'll see you again some day...Siggy...
O͍̼̳̘h̭̺̲͜,̵̥͔̪͇ͅ ͈̯i̬̟͎̮͇̱̰ṯ͕̙ͅ'͓s͙̪̦̼̯̙ ́a̺̩̣̳͚̻l̮̜̥̞͉͔͟l͉͕̟̥ ̮̩s̱̺̣o̵ ̻͉̼̩̪̯̕ͅc̻͎̦̜̮͎l̘̱̠͔̕e̵̯̯̯̯̜̟͚a͚̟̼̪r̡̘͙̞͉͔̱ ̖̳͓̭̭̗́t̨̝̰̰̖̱o̡̟̜̭̜ ̷̱̣̩̬̱͕̪m͈e̖̼̮͓̥͟ ͏͙n̡̬̟͍̣̟̲o̝w̵̦.҉̤̥͚̖.̖͞.


Vince you godsdamned dunce.


Fuckin'...cow...
B̴̯̜ú͖̖̞̣͓͉ͅḽ̣̜̪l̹̰̲͍ͅ.̤.̷̥̪.̝̰͈ͅ
Shut up...



...Those four just went for a walk. What could've possibly happened?
Beats me.
Boy, I sure like dying to what was effectively an unlucky dice roll.

Okay, I could've spammed Volt Wall, but that would've left me severely open to dying to phys damage.


Let's skip ahead.

...What's that skull floating over my head?
I don't understand how one of the most disable-resilient people in the guild keeps getting hit with this stuff.

Not this time.

Y'know... Penetrated by a purple horn...ain't the best way to go...
Snrk.
Of all the verbs you could've used, you had to use that one.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Are you breakin' its head or its ears?!
Damage the ears, and you damage a living being's ability to sense where it is.
...You're...actually right, there.
Thus also instilling fear.
...Well, I guess that's sorta true...


Fuck me.


Why...do I even bother...
Quixote... I'm gonna haunt you...'til you finally die...


...


...AaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! DIE ALREADY, YOU OVERGROWN BOVINE!



...
Victory!



...
We are victorious through the power of fear! Why are you not--
Quixote. You see this blood, all over my katana and clothes?
Mmmmmyes?
If you do this "summoning monsters on us" stuff again, it will be your blood.
...
I've got some friends to make not dead. Thanks for ruining a nice walk.
...I believed myself a master of the arts of fear. I have much to learn.



Gridarvol (+101 ATK, +40 HP, +3 VIT) is made from 1 Bull Horn (Gudanna normal). Costs 6240 en.
I don't really know who would want a Gridarvol, really.

Well, uh... That's it for now! Tune in next time for...not sand, actually. Rather, rocks.

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