Part 89: The Valley of the Kings

Proceeding into the middle-right entrance.

Asumu: They work incredibly fast, don't they.

Shichiro: Mayhaps it might be their diet and exercise routines? Two hundred situps, and plenty of juice?

Taichi: No, Youka's doing better now that she stopped doing anything like that.

Shichiro: Becoming more physically adept after she ceased her exercise routine? How curious.

Asumu: ...wait, is she... okay? That's kind of worrying.

Aww, are you worried about me?

Asumu: W-what? No. I'm just concerned about the effectiveness of your unit, is all.

Well, if there's anything good about all this, it means I'm conquering stairs! After this, they'll just be one more little bump in the road!

No they'll be several, that's the idea, they're a series of successive bumps in the path that increase your elevation.

...Huh. I didn't think about that.

It seems like there are places on this floor where the earthquakes have caved the ceiling in. Please be careful!

So we have a hit, middle-right, first floor.

Let's make sure there's not anything else in this tower.

middle-right second floor down iiiiis...


And two smaller Dragons. Let's get to work.

No. Loot first. Gimme.

Flag Specials and Fried Specials are like Flag and Fried Bentos... but better!

We just handled three Dragons at once, you think you two can threaten us?

Go, go, team! Tear 'em up!

Geez, Koron, showing me up much?

I'm just built different.

There's the second one. You all okay?

Please! Take your pithy concerns to one who needs them.

Ugh, got dirt in my eyes.

Counters being hideously accurate is always a nice and relevant thing.

Mio, that one's almost dead. You got it?

Shanari, shanari ojou-sama~ Kayowai AURA de madowaseru~

"Graceful, graceful princess! I'll blind you with my aura of frailty!"

Angelic Pitch is Mio's final attacking spell. It has no riders, it's just a solid all-target attack.

You're just delaying it, y'know.

Not even very effectively! How tragic.

lol it rolled two different statuses on it

Kyahahahahahaha! You never stood even the faintest chance!

I'm incredible.

Oh, that was never in question. Alright, proceeding back to the nest.

This place... it's lousy with Dragons.

Well, we'll just have to fix that.

Awwww yiss.


Psyards, with 569 HP and heavy physical defenses and offenses, are the new beatstick random mon du jour. They're frail magically, unfortunately for them considering who's at the front of my party.

See? Poor guys. Anyway, I do actually manage to take down one of these seeds, picking up a cool 700 SP from it.

Another clown's on their way in.

No worries, I got this one!

What is she do—

Where are you looking, in the darkness of night? Do your eyes dance upon the ground, or to the roiling seas—

—or do they leap to the skies, in the hope that a creature might elope upon you? Tonight, gaze into those skies as the shadows alight—your countess has graced you with her presence!

Mio Akaneno, dark ruler of Tokyo's hearts, has arrived! Lose your bodies to the FEVER!

I just want you all to be aware that the music override of Our World, Your Future was artistic license on my part previously but is very genuinely a real thing that happens when you use Tokyo Arena. Anyway, so this is Mio's EX Skill. It's 35 MP to instantly activate Superstar. Can't get much simpler.

Having fun over there?

Oh, ever so much. My entire life is like one big holiday!

Well, that's great! I'm glad you're working a job you like.

Anyway, he knocked Koron down, so how's about I give him a taste of his own medicine.


As Mio's poppy music played on, Youka reared up and slammed her own skull into the dragon's head, causing it to collapse under her strike and fall to the ground dead.

Hammerhead. It can inflict Stop but is otherwise just a big bungus hitter move.

Very nice! Now let's get Koron up.


Oh, uh, Koron. So you said Jabberwock isn't a jabberwock, right?

That's correct. It lacks the bone structure to be a theropod, so it's one more in a long line of drakes. As are the mole dragons.

What is a 'jabberwock', again? My memory is failing me.

Warcry or Tiamat.

Ah. Four-limbed, bipedal, winged.

Yes, you understand. Out of all the Imperials we've faced, Zero-Blue remains the only actual dragon.

The guy for that wall's on the other side. It's not a digger.

You know, at least I can see where we're going here. It's got turns but it's not that bad. I... don't hate this place.

Tch. This is quite the pile of rubble.

Ugh, this is gonna take some doing.

Could it have been caused by the cave-in? What a time to be blocked.

Keima, Reimi, get your tools together. Middle-right, first floor down.

Okay, you got it!

Wait, hold on, you can't just waltz in there! It's dangerous! Unit 10 will escort you, if that's okay with you, Captain Himuro.

Give us just one teensy-weensy moment if you would, friends?

We gave them that. Escorting the dev team took some work, but Himuro's teleportation ability allowed them to speed up the process.

Taichi: Man, I'm never gonna get used to that.

Himuro: Bit of a rough trip, but we made it.

Keep talking. Whatever. Just get to work! Keima, set the dynamite.

You got it. Here?

Yeah. Alright, it's placed and ready to go. When we set it off, this is going down!

All of our ears rang for a moment from the sound of the explosion, but Richter and Shichiro did their best to deafen the blast with YUUHI.

Shichiro: Such precision work... your craft is a difficult one, Esslinger-senpai.

I try. Is everyone alright?

Fine. Oof.


As connoisseurs of explosions, I assure you we approve.

Ohhh?? No way!! Aww, you know how to flatter a girl, Koron~

Yeah it was greaaaaat hawawawawawawa

Sumie needs a bit more help, give me a moment.

Taichi: Huh, I guess those ears are pretty much brand new, aren't they?

Asumu: That and on top instead of to the sides.

Alright, that's what we came here to do. Call us if you need us again.

Seeya, guys! Good hunting!

Taichi: Alright, back to the base! Everyone, behind me! I'll show you explosions!

My hero~

There's a pair of digging dragons on this platform.

Aggressive, too.

Keep your distance, mutts!

Skyhigh Meteor + Attack Beat lol

There's the second supply unit! Thank you all again for your help.

This one's the 'Bouldersnatch'.

Then it's time to engage it in battle!

Shichiro: Do your best, senpai!

Snatch... 2! As a reminder, 3836 HP, resists all elements but Neutral by 20%, high defenses with slightly more magical.

Let's start breakin' it down!

I can get behind that.

Watch out! It's attempting to cause a cave-in!

Bouldersnatch's claim to fame is its delayed-activation attacks, like Granderodons and whatnot.

Tch. These bastards are sturdier than I'd like.

You simply cannot perceive me.

As Youka engaged in a one-on-one duel with the Bouldersnatch, meeting it blow for blow, there was a grin on her face. It was nice seeing her enjoy herself again.

Here comes the cave-in! Watch out!


Ugh, shit.

Yeah, it hits twice, pretty hard. Thankfully nobody died here.

Everyone okay?



It's readying itself for a roll!

Okay, you're better, but—

I'll catch it!

Hahaha, gotta do better than that!

Giant Slalom still has the Bleed rider for the other Snatches, so Fiend Shifter worked just fine.

Ugh, asshole!

It's almost down!

Play us out!

Hahahahaha! Shatter before me!

Nice moves, Koron!

Back at you.

Placing this setup down in the dark in this inconvenient location while distracting us with the risen Imperials... It's quite a strategy. Did he intentionally lead us to ignore the Jabberwock, do you think?

Most likely.

Attenuated Imperial signature confirmed! One more left!

The last Dragon in this leg of the area is this wall Dragon. The game actually yeets you out of the area after beating Bouldersnatch, but I came back to handle it.



Heeey, Unit 13!

As we returned to the front, the dev team hailed us down.

Got some gear for you.

Dang, we've taken out that many Dragons?

You're really tearing through them! It's beautiful, really~

Our freebie is a Guard Ring 3. Keima has weapons, Reimi has armor, Guard Ring 3s and Body Guards (which are Poison/Confuse/Bleed in one), and Waji has Medicine 4s and Dragon Dews.

I know Richter's got the best anyone can give him, and Sumie's got that SDF great, but her guns and the rest of y'all are still fine, right?

Oh, yes. We could definitely use some better gear.

By the way, Chisa... do you know if your brother's weapon is single? Grenadine's on the market, you know~

Uh... I have no idea.

Alright, advancing into the rightmost entrance. We should be nearing the third nest.

Unit 10 is there ahead of you.

Shichiro: To advance directly into the enemy's nest... one cannot become a lion without venturing into the lion's den!

Asumu: Tch. The wildlife in here are all weaklings. ...Why are you so excited?

Taichi: Oh, yeahhhhhh!!! I'm all fired up, baby! My engine's running hot! We're surrounded on all sides, so c'mon, let's get extreme!

Do you think they noticed we were here?


Here comes a Dragon!

Shichiro: By the way, Taichi-kun, strictly off the record... have you noticed those looks Reimi-san has been giving you?

Taichi: What? She's looking at my weapon, man. She's an addict!

Let's roll, team!

Ah, Rush Shot. I missed you.


Shichiro: Now, Taichi-kun, I know you doubt me here, but hear me out: Reimi-san is a maid, yes?

Taichi: I mean, not really. She just dresses like one.

Asumu: Shut up, man.

Chisa, you look a bit under the weather.

Ah, thanks.

Troy CURE sets a buff on a party member that heals them extra each time they get healed for a few turns. It's neat.

Shichiro: Now, I don't mean to typecast you, Taichi-kun, but I'm simply saying that it seems like you have a way of attracting maids.

Taichi: W-wha—that—that's ridiculous! Come on!

There appear to be two more digging dragons here.




What? Oh, right.

Haja Kensei—Midare Sanzan Sakura!

Taichi: Whoa—wait, do you see that?! It's Nee-san!


Asumu: Your voice is going to cause a cave-in at this rate!

Kamiyama: No... no! I don't wanna die in a place like this! Mommy... mommy!



Kamiyama: E-eh? ...Wait. You're the Raging Bomber!

The metalworks guy?

Yeah, we found a few of his things out in the wild. Hey. Good news. We're rescuing you.

Kamiyama: Eh-heh. Well, to be rescued by a customer... I-I only hope you give my weapons the respect they deserve.

There's the other!

Yeah, we're pretty much rolling over these guys now.

There they are.

Shichiro: It had... no effect?! How can my hacking arts be so ineffective?

Taichi: Ugh... hoo...

Himuro: You blockheads, you're out of stamina! Retreat!

Asumu: In one blow? That's Teach for you.

Taichi: Wow! That was incredible, Coach!

Himuro: You're wearing yourselves out. Guess that's gonna have to be our next lesson. How much does that thing even weigh, Inomiko?

Taichi: Oh. Uhhh... a lot. It's pretty heavy.

You all have done a great job clearing things out, but I think we should take it from here.

Himuro: The rest is up to you guys!

Shichiro: Getting to see Unit 13 in action in a real battlefield is truly an honor!

Taichi: Yeah, it really is. You guys... Man, you're awesome, Chisa.

Asumu: I suppose so.

You kids have gotten a lot better. But learn how to pace yourselves.

That's rich coming from you.

That's rich coming from you.

Can I ask a question?

Taichi: Huh? Yeah.



Actually, you know what? You can tell me on your own time.

Taichi started coughing furiously.

Taichi: O-oh! Uh, r-right, yeah. Shichiro, you bastard!

Shichiro: My curiosity burns, Taichi-kun!

Taichi: Look, don't listen to this guy, okay, nee-san? It's not that big of a deal, especially not right now.

Right. You're nineteen. It's a perfectly normal thing for you to be doing.

Taichi: Yeah! See? You get it.

Right. Of course. Yes. You can tell me more on your own time. I won't pry.

Shichiro: But of all people to swoon over him—

Shut up. Stop talking right now. Just stop talking. We're going to go kill the third supply unit Dragon and you are going to stop talking about this because we are in a battlefield and that is not the time to be discussing gossip about your friend's love life, which he has because he is nineteen and that is a perfectly normal age to be dating someone.

Wait, okay, no, I do have one question. How old are they?

Taichi: 22. A bit older than me but not by much.

A perfectly normal age to be dating someone. So stop talking. Or at least do it out of earshot of me.

Shichiro: Understood, Senpai! I will endeavor to be more careful in my investigations.

That was hard for you, wasn't it?


I'm taking out my emotions on you over there!

This is the last one.

Visibility is bright and clear, and no hiccups with the navigation, either!

Taichi: You've got this, guys! You're the best there is!

Come on then, 'Battersnatch'!

That is a really silly-sounding name to try and yell dramatically.

Snatch Steal is an equip spell that allows you to choose an opponent's monster and take control of it, for the cost of giving them 1000 extra Life Points during each of their Standby Phases. Being able to freely take control of an opponent's monster is incredibly powerful and only got moreso as the game's history went on, so Snatch Steal was limited to one copy from the moment the very first banlist dropped, and it was banned in 2007. There was, however, one single banlist in 2015 where for some reason it was brought back to one copy, whereupon it was exactly as stupid as it ever was, and was then banned for the rest of time again.

What were we talking about?

Oh, yeah, the Battersnatch.

Please do your best, both of you.

We've already taken down two. This one doesn't have a chance!



It's preparing something!

Luckily, I was prepared well beforehand!

gg.bat has the ability to expel ailments in return for no longer being coded as 'missing', attacks instead dealing 0 damage, so Idol doesn't go sicko mode during that turn. You win some you lose some. It's still gg.bat.

Almost got it!

...Oh. Well, now I feel somewhat silly.

Battersnatch's claim to fame is Harden Shell, a physical and magical debuff to take all of your damage by 70%.

Ah, that makes me feel better about it.

Mrowr. It's tough.

It's on the ropes. This is its last chance!

I disagree! Its last chance was before we arrived!

Ah, how kind of you.

And that makes three!

We're simply too good.

Preparations are complete, so return to the staging ground for now, if you would.


Everyone's hard work is appreciated. You've all done fantastically.

Ehehe. Are you ready to roll your sleeves up, Kirino?

I mean, if you hadn't kept bugging us, we probably wouldn't have been able to finish half as quick. I wouldn't say you held us back. You can almost hang with us.

...Heh. It's a privilege to get razzed by you, Miroku.

There's no grand strategy from here on in. Some of us are stronger, and some of us are weaker—but we're all allies, and friends, here, with important roles to play. And we all know Unit 13 will carry the day.

Himuro: Alright, rookies! You're batting leadoff for Unit 13 today. Don't screw this up!

Taichi: We'll make sure it doesn't try and collapse the platform or something! You guys can fight without worrying about that.

Asumu: Hmph. I hope you turn out to be as impressive as you sound.

Shichiro: Ah, Asumu-san, we all know that you, too, are looking forward to this.

Two more objects on the itinerary— first, rightmost entrance, second floor down.

Yamamoto: Huh? You're saying you're rescuers? Jeez, I didn't know we'd come so far!


Sorry to have kept you waiting! The Baths are now functional. Ms. Tomiko wanted to say thanks to you. If you have time, pay her a visit!

Tomiko: Let me show you this, for starters. Here, just tilt your head back a bit...

As a reminder, this is a one-per-excursion 50% HP and MP restoration. Nice.

Tomiko: This is a traditional relaxation technique. I'm sure it'll be of some use to you. The Baths will be working as they ever have—and, if you have some Fabulous Fuel, you'll gain even more SP and fill your Exhaust Gauge! By way of thanks, I've set some aside for you, so come on and take a bath if you're ready!

Bath. As it was in the first game, Fabulous Fuel gives 300 SP and fills up the Exhaust Gauge to full, which is very nice, and cool.

Next time, our vorpal blades go snicker-snack!

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